Good Sense

Melissa Dereberry's Blog

Archive for the category “consumer affairs”

Are Smoking Bans Good For Us?

 In response to a proposed smoking ban in my town, here is why I don’t support it.

Smoking is bad for you.  I get that.  Everyone knows it’s true.  Cigarette smoke is toxic.  Most of us have had the annoyance of going into a restaurant, the obvious smell from the smoking section greeting us at the door.  Maybe we’ve gone elsewhere.  Maybe we’ve had to wait longer because there were no tables in the non-smoking section.  Or, maybe we’ve even elected to sit in the smoking section because we didn’t want to wait.  But no one is forcing us to eat there.

Proponents of this recent proposed smoking ban argue, “But what about the employees?”  Employees who work in these businesses are exposed to secondhand smoke.  No one is forcing anyone to work in that job, first of all.  It’s a free country.  They can go work somewhere else.  It makes more sense to enact laws requiring businesses to protect employees who don’t want exposure by offering arrangements within the workplace.  For example, those employees don’t have to work in areas where smoking is allowed.  How many businesses would this affect?  How many employees?  Most of the restaurants around here are already smoke free.  Many employees smoke themselves.  This argument seems to rest on such a small premise.  Those who support the ban seem more bent on being the moral authority on smoking rather than generating productive debate or enacting real public policy that favors the common good. 

Yes, blowing smoke near someone is wrong.  But so are a lot of other things.  Companies shouldn’t be allowed to charge you extra if you don’t sign up for automatic bill payments.    Victoria’s Secret shouldn’t be able to put “Kiss This” on the front of a pair of underwear marketed to young girls.  A child shouldn’t be allowed to eat a whole box of Swiss Cake Rolls.  The point is, people make bad choices.  Sometimes they directly affects us, sometimes they don’t.  Most of the time, we can make another choice.  We can choose a different company to do business with.  We can help our kids make better food choices.  We can buy our underwear somewhere else.  The bottom line is this:  How much does a particular activity actually harm another person?  Who decides how to define harm?  And at what point does the government need to step in and regulate it?

When a person’s choice is virtually eliminated, that’s when.  Let me give you an example.  Hospitals shouldn’t be allowed to charge a patient $29.00 for a dose of Tylenol.  That’s common sense.  But at my local hospital, they do.  I took my son to the ER.  He needed Tylenol.  We were several hours from getting released and I didn’t have any Tylenol.  So, we get the bill.  It’s common sense that no business should be allowed to charge about 58 times the normal consumer value of something when no other choice is given.  I’m not a math whiz, but isn’t that like a 3,000% markup or something?  I don’t know about you, but I think that’s criminal, especially when customers have little choice in the matter. 

When it comes to smoking in public places, we have choices—a lot of them.  Most business owners recognize—and have for many years—the need to protect customers from unwanted smoke, and have made accommodations.  The reality is that customers know they can choose if they want to visit a particular business.  Employees can go elsewhere or demand a clean working environment. 

For me, this whole debate comes down to  Freedom of Choice.  Some people want to go to a restaurant where they can smoke.  Some people want to go to a restaurant where there is no smoke.  Some employees want to smoke on their breaks.  Some do not.  They should have those choices.  But, the most important choice of all is this:  The restaurant/bar owner should be able to decide if he wants to allow smoking in his business. That business owner has done the hard work of starting the business.  He has probably taken out loans, put his livelihood on the line, and invested his whole life in that business.  He pays the bills.  Most likely, he works 80 hours a week on that business.  Unless he is operating a publicly funded facility, paid for by taxpayers, NO one should be able to tell him how to run it.  A smoking ban takes away the freedom to choose.  And taking away the freedom to choose, like that 3,000% markup on Tylenol, is the real crime.  It’s like being tied up, smoke blown in our face, 58 times too many.

Copyright, 2011, Melissa Dereberry

Terms of Agreement for Livin’ in the Good ‘Ol USA

Terms of Agreement:

            This is not a legally binding contract, however, we will conduct business under the assumption that it is, and, should you decide to question its contents, the quality of our services or products, the appropriateness of our marketing strategies, or any policy contained therein, you will be locked in a double-wide trailer and be forced to listen to the Dolly Parton song of our choice, continuously, for nine days, or else be routed through the proper customer service entities, including, but not limited to:

-          Our cheerful, customer service representatives that are available Monday – Friday, 10:00 to 3:00, upon which time, they will log out of their computers to go play shuffleboard in the break room and then settle down into their pods for their afternoon nap, after which they will wake up, promptly at 5:00 and lunge for the time clock.

-          Should you attempt to reach our service representatives during normal business hours, and have been unsuccessful, you may leave a detailed voice message that will be reviewed and attended to by no one in particular.

-          Should you be lucky enough to reach one of our representatives, be prepared to speak very loudly in the requested language.  Don’t worry if you don’t speak Sanskrit, we don’t either.

-          Should you inadvertently lose the connection, call the Laundromat down the street.  They care more than we do.

You have signed up for a service that has no value whatsoever, either real, imagined or otherwise, and the information you provide to us will be considered both accurate and completely false, and will be used for whatever we so desire, including, but not limited to:  The keynote speech at our cousin’s Bat Mitzvah, our application for induction into the Rock, Paper, Scissors Ambassador’s Club, and our Facebook status update.

Should you decide you no longer want our product, sorry.  SUCKER!  HAHHAHAA.  You should box it up, address it to your uncle Frank, along with a note that says, “I hope you hate this as much as I do.” 

If you should decide that you no longer want our services, sorry.  SUCKER!!!!  HAHAHAAH.  Log onto “I am a big old goon dot com” and get a life.  Then, be sure to fill our convenient customer complaint form located on our website and we will answer you when Tony Orlando sells his next number one album.  Better yet, we’ll send it to OUR uncle Frank.  He likes to answer random emails.

And finally, if you should decide that you are just fed up with everything, and have resorted to throwing on your old leg warmers and dancing to the Go Go’s in your living room with a half empty bottle of Purple Passion, you agree, by the terms of this “Terms of Agreement,” to pre-register and be automatically enrolled in our sister program, “I have lost all ability to choose, so why not?”

By clicking on “Yes” below, you hereby accept these Terms of Agreement, and hereby abandon all hope upon entering here.

Melissa Dereberry

M.A. Green

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